Monday, October 8, 2012

Mask.

Feeling uncomfortable in my skin. I'm pretending. I'm living a life that isn't me and I'm dying doing it. Everything I'm skilled at, love and feel empowered by is in the acting life. Yet I'm everything I'm living now is the corporate life that calls daily on all my weaknesses and failings and it's killing my soul. That feeds a self-hatred that makes me to pull away from my own friends - so my personal suffers, too. I'm barricaded in fear and disappointment. Over-dramatic? Sure. I know should be grateful to have a good job and good health. But, now more than ever, my spirit needs to be strong and it's not - it's broken. I'm terrified of taking the risk, of taking the next step, towards a serious acting career. Yet I'm terrified of dying in the corporate world that I've become a useless zombie in.

What should I do? How can I break out of this? Help.

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