Monday, October 15, 2012

Back on Track

ok, i needed to have that little break down.  it's put a lot of things into perspective.  sometimes that kind of self-doubt can trigger more focus and get me motivated in the right areas again.  that's where i am now.  it helps to have my good friend, Caitlin, staying with me, too.  always helps to have an accountability partner!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Mask.

Feeling uncomfortable in my skin. I'm pretending. I'm living a life that isn't me and I'm dying doing it. Everything I'm skilled at, love and feel empowered by is in the acting life. Yet I'm everything I'm living now is the corporate life that calls daily on all my weaknesses and failings and it's killing my soul. That feeds a self-hatred that makes me to pull away from my own friends - so my personal suffers, too. I'm barricaded in fear and disappointment. Over-dramatic? Sure. I know should be grateful to have a good job and good health. But, now more than ever, my spirit needs to be strong and it's not - it's broken. I'm terrified of taking the risk, of taking the next step, towards a serious acting career. Yet I'm terrified of dying in the corporate world that I've become a useless zombie in.

What should I do? How can I break out of this? Help.
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