Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas!



My fave Christmas song. An oldie from the Temptations. I grew up listening to two albums every Christmas: Christmas Card from the Temptations and Give Me Your Love For Christmas from Johnny Mathis. Classics. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

my november

i can sum it up in one word: Sandy

the flooding made my home unlivable.  a month later, there's still no power in my house.  so i'm a refugee staying here and there a few days at a time. i've never prayed for "normal" so much in my life. i just want to go home. 

i've learned a lot, though. in times like these you realize who your friends are. i'm a very lucky girl. but the most important thing i learned is that home is where your community is, not where the nicest apartment is.  i've feathered my nest beautifully over the last 7 years, but i never really made roots in the neighborhood. so in my time of need, the people who reached out to help me weren't neighbors but friends who lived miles away.  that got me thinking.  it doesn't matter how nice my place is if it feels isolated from my loved ones.

being without a home this month has meant being flexible, having a lot of plan "b"s and staying strong in the midst of high stress.  life lessons.

here are some images of that unforgettable month.  my november:

updating friends a few days after the storm

Our mayor was conspicuously absent after the storm

might be homeless, but still have to VOTE!

neighbors came together to help each other

never saw the red cross, but plenty of neighbors helped out

70,000 cars were destroyed by the floods, so our local dapper don pimp-style gent lost his Caddy and now rides public transport

homelessness won't ruin girls' night

wisdom from Hunter Thompson

got my eyebrows tinted for the first time ever! Groucho Marx look anyone?

this time mom garnished the mac and cheese with olives and it was delish! stealing that idea.

one of the hotels the FEMA put me in offered condoms with the mini-bar. ha! somebody was thinking.

a private "This Is Your Life" performance for a friend's going away party. c/o K. Hatcher



Monday, October 15, 2012

Back on Track

ok, i needed to have that little break down.  it's put a lot of things into perspective.  sometimes that kind of self-doubt can trigger more focus and get me motivated in the right areas again.  that's where i am now.  it helps to have my good friend, Caitlin, staying with me, too.  always helps to have an accountability partner!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Mask.

Feeling uncomfortable in my skin. I'm pretending. I'm living a life that isn't me and I'm dying doing it. Everything I'm skilled at, love and feel empowered by is in the acting life. Yet I'm everything I'm living now is the corporate life that calls daily on all my weaknesses and failings and it's killing my soul. That feeds a self-hatred that makes me to pull away from my own friends - so my personal suffers, too. I'm barricaded in fear and disappointment. Over-dramatic? Sure. I know should be grateful to have a good job and good health. But, now more than ever, my spirit needs to be strong and it's not - it's broken. I'm terrified of taking the risk, of taking the next step, towards a serious acting career. Yet I'm terrified of dying in the corporate world that I've become a useless zombie in.

What should I do? How can I break out of this? Help.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Why did they do it? Part 2

Update!  Looks like the actors of "Innocence of Muslims" are talking more about their participation in the film.  Lawsuits, outrage, accusations of being misled...  Most important, I think, are the accusations of mis-dubbing.  Reports are that the name "Muhammed" was dubbed over another name that the actors were actually saying - that would mean intentional deception/manipulation.  Man, if ever it was proven that film is NOT the actor's forum...!  (In film, the director can cut and edit your performance to create any end product he/she wants and that's the audience sees - not your entire performance.  In theatre, there are no cuts/edits, what you do reaches the audience directly and immediately.)  The cast of this film, if they truly were deceived and manipulated, are in an awful situation.

But I do have a couple of questions for them:
1. Even as a story of "life 2000 years ago", didn't the references to Islam in the script hint at an agenda?
2. Actors are often called in post production to record pick ups and/or voiceovers.  Who dubbed in the "Muhammed" pick ups - becuase if it was the same cast, then, at least, by then they knew had to know what was afoot, right?

Interesting tidbit: Here's what's believed to have been the casting notice for the film.  (Was it also on CraigsList?)  (Also, notice it was another unpaid gig, ugh...)

"Original Call Cast on site: http://… (read all …)


NOW CASTING SAG and NON SAG ACTORS for “DESERT WARRIOR.” Director Alan Roberts.

Historical desert drama set in Middle East. Indie Feature film shoots 18 days in L.A. in August. Studio and backlot locations.

Male Roles: DR. MATTHEW (Lead): Middle Eastern Pharmacist, 40-50, intelligent, family man; GEORGE (Lead); 40-50, Middle Eastern warrior leader, romantic, charismatic; YOUNG GEORGE (featured) 18-22; PRIEST (featured): 60-70, bearded; ABDO (featured), 60-70, Elder tribe leader; ISRAELI MEN 30-50 (featured); WARRIORS (featured) 18-50, Various Middle Eastern types, bearded.

Female Roles: CONDALISA (featured) 40, attractive, successful, strong willed; HILLARY (featured) 18 but must look younger, petite; innocent; YOUSTINA (featured) 16-18, Daughter of doctor; MIDDLE EASTERN WOMEN (Various Featured Roles) 18-40, attractive, exotic; OLDER WOMAN (featured) 60-70, feisty.

Please place Role desired in SUBJECT: line of email.
Indicate SAG or NON-SAG
Require phone contact for immediate interview in Beverly/LaCienega area.

•Location: Los Angeles
•it’s ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
•Compensation: no pay
•OK to contact me about appearing in CL documentary series"

Why did they do it?

NPR just aired an excellent report on the production of the film that's incited the violent uproar against American embassies in the Middle East, this week. It touched on the question I asked when I'd seen the trailer for the film, "Who are these actors and why did they perform in this?".  Apparently, several claim not to have know what the film was actually about.  That got me thinking....

What is our responsibility as actors?  Making a living in this profession is so hard, that we are always grateful to get any paid gig...but where do we draw the line and what ownership should we have of the message of a project once we've signed on?  Is it enough just to get the paycheck and the IMDB credit?  Or should we also accept a role as representatives of the agenda of the project?  And can we be choosy when we're broke?

I think the answer is that if you're in it, you have to own it. Though we really are just cogs in a giant machine, actors are literally the face of the agenda of any film/tv project. We're what the audience sees - not the producers, not the cameramen, not the costumers, not the grips... So we have to accept that we represent that project to a higher extent than most other people involved.  In that light, we can't really hide behind the "I didn't know what they were doing" excuse.  We have to own our choices. That means we have to be so careful about the projects we pick. 

The actors in The Innocence of Muslims say they didn't know what the film was about. How does that happen? Easy. Happens to a lot of us... You're busy, you're not a main character, you're brought on late, it's "just" a reading/short/student-film/producers/directors don't even want you to know the big picture... whatever... the bottom line is, you don't read the full script - you don't know the full story of the project you're acting in.  Nine out of ten times, you can get away with that without issue, but at some point, you can end up in the kind of worst case scenario that is going on right now. I'm not just warning other actors, I'm reminding myself because I've done it, too!  You get a 160pg script, you're only on 5 pages, you're working on 3 other projects plus working your day job, so why waste time on scenes you're not in...  Or maybe you do know the whole project, but you figure no one will see it, you need the check, it's just a gig, it doesn't really matter, you're just a hired employee....whatever... No. You don't get a pass. You took the work, now speak to it. If you choose not to defend your choice, then express that, but please don't say you didn't know...  Ignorance cannot be an actor's excuse. 

Let this be a reminder to all of us to make responsible choices in our work.
Actors: Know Your Projects, Know Your Producers (and their agenda!).  And own your choices!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

"Geschwisterliebe" - Go See This Film


a school friend of mine died last year. i can't really explain what he meant to me and how deeply his death affected me, but i think of him nearly every day, even though it had been many years since i'd seen him. distance isn't really distance... his life impacted and inspired me continually. his ambition, drive, leadership and artistry awed me.

two weeks ago, out of the blue, a mutual friend sent me a message about his film coming to the NY International Film Festival and his film-making partner coming to town for the screening. my heart leapt! i can't wait to see his work and share memories of him.

the film is a story about shame, rage, and life in the Turkish/German community of Berlin ...based on a true story.  the title literally translated means sibling love and in thecrux of the story is an awful event: a young man rapes his sister. it makes my skin crawl, but it's these are the very topics we have to confront and expose.  "Geschwisterliebe" - find this film and see it. 

Rest in eternal peace, Markus.  You are still as powerful and relevant as you were in life.  Love.

Friday, July 27, 2012

"Failure Club"

was just looking online for a handyman and came across this show. ... just when i needed a little inspiration to break through the wall of fear i'm frozen in front of... Failure Club follows a group people for a year while they go after their dreams. This is like a support group.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Driving w/ a Hall & Oates Classic


Ummm, this is sheer brilliance.  Nicki & the The Gramblers are literally bringing to life that feeling we all have when you're driving in your car and you start jammin' to a song...you start performing in your own little video in your head...!  I freakin' LOVE this clip.  It's the best cover of Hall & Oates' "I Can't Go For That" that I've ever seen!  And as my friend, Ivettza said, "get ready for kazoo-awesomeness" at about minute 2......  They have a whole series on YouTube of classic songs they cover while driving around!  Van Sessions.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Gig Alert: Prometheus Bound





I play a girl named Io who was turned into a cow by Zeus...
The production is fantastic! Great cast, cool concept, come see!
May 31 - June 10 at the Producers Club on 44th at 9th Av. Tix $18 
Email tonywhitebsd@yahoo.com for reservations.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Invincible - She blew my mind


I've heard her on radio interviews and each time her rhyme skills have blown me away. Her name is Invincible. Love what she stands for, love how she sounds. Heard last minute that she was performing at Joe's Pub last night so I had to go - and she didn't disappoint. And on top of all that, she's conscious and gracious in person. She kinda blew my mind. I'm a fan for life now.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Monday, April 30, 2012

Sunday, April 29, 2012

I Am Afropolitan.


An old essay has helped me finally feel closer to a "definition" of my cultural identity.  Taiye Tuakli-Wosornu's "What Is Afropolitan?"nailed it. People have always asked me where I'm from and I've learned to know they're really asking me to explain my looks, after all the fastest way to categorize someone is by appearance - and humans do love to categorize. But my ethnic look doesn't necessarily the story of my upbringing so it's not my personal answer to my identity. And the nationality on my passport doesn't cover it all either. 

I've started saying that "I'm from everywhere" or that "I'm just an Earthling" because those answers are shorter than the truth and usually stop the questioning. I look West African (or Haitian...I get that a lot, too) and indeed I am half, Togolese, but I wasn't raised in that culture and don't know that side of my family. The culture that I did grow up in was a mixture of American and European because of where I grew up (Italy, Germany, France). The other half of my family is Black American from the northeast, but because I grew up so far away from them, I'm not incredibly close to them either.  So the "family" I grew up with is a multi-national collection of friends of my mother's and mine from all the places we lived throughout the years.  So while most people can explain their identity through their family, that's complicated for me, too.

What makes the whole thing more ironic is that the culture I look the most like is foreign to me, while the culture I look the least like feels most like home yet it rejects me because I don't look native...  It's weird.  So what am I, culturally? Am I an African? A European? An American? I won't stutter anymore replying to that question because for the first time in my life, there's an answer that hits the mark 100%: AFROPOLITAN. 

"[We] are Afropolitans – the newest generation of African emigrants, coming soon or collected already at a law firm/chem lab/jazz lounge near you. You’ll know us by our funny blend of London fashion, New York jargon, African ethics, and academic successes. Some of us are ethnic mixes, e.g. Ghanaian and Canadian, Nigerian and Swiss; others merely cultural mutts: American accent, European affect, African ethos. Most of us are multilingual: in addition to English and a Romantic or two, we understand some indigenous tongue and speak a few urban vernaculars. There is at least one place on The African Continent to which we tie our sense of self: be it a nation-state (Ethiopia), a city (Ibadan), or an auntie’s kitchen. Then there’s the G8 city or two (or three) that we know like the backs of our hands, and the various institutions that know us for our famed focus. We are Afropolitans: not citizens, but Africans of the world."

Is it too late?


Since my birthday last month, I've been in and out of a funk about age.  I am too old for all my dreams?  Inside, I still feel wide-eyed and excited about all the incredible things I can achieve.  But you're not a starlet after 22, are you?  Am I foolish to believe I'm still going to "make it"?  I know there's no expiration on ambition, I guess I'm just feeling embarrassed that I'm not where I thought I'd be...

Gig Alert: Rev Billy & The Stop Shopping Choir


We're singing songs of rebellion and justice Monday night, April 30th, 7pm, at Theatre For The New City.  FREE show! 155 1st Ave between 9th and 10th Streets.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Solution to my living room!



In my tiny apartment all-in-one anything is always better. This one hits the spot! In one single piece you get a tv, dvd player, tv stand/cabinet, cord organizer... and it looks good! I'll be grabbing one of these bad boys soon as they hit the US market (spring 2013).

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Back to School


I swear it's going to take me 6 years to complete the 2 years of college I skipped out on originally. (Kids, stay in school!!! It's so much harder to finish up later in life!) Just registered for summer semester, only taking one class because that's all I can handle for now. But I'm not worried - slow and steady wins the race.  I started this journey 3 years ago - summer 2009 - as a "sophomore", now I'm finally in my senior year.  Close, but still a long (hard) ways away from the enchilada.
It's weird, my life or career won't change when I finish this degree so I don't actually need it, but I'm doing this because psychologically I feel stronger and smarter with it. Maybe it's also the challenge of working towards a tough goal. Either way, I'm in for a rough summer of writing papers, but then I'll have "just" 9 classes left before graduation. Feels like "Yay" and "Ugh" and the same time...

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Voiceovers - Nice Work If You Can Get It!


Heading to my first voiceover gig now! I'm narrating an audio play for the Cheer Foundation.  I've always wanted to do this kind of work.  Show up at the studio, not worry about whether I'm having a fat day or a bad hair day, do what I love - which is to play characters, work with talented technicians/cast/crew then go home without a full face of makeup to scrape off.  Wish me luck!

One Union.

(live stream of the merger announcement)

i'm still giddy about this!

Friday, April 13, 2012

"Smallest Coolest Apartment" time!!!



It’s Small Cool time at ApartmentTherapy.com again!  This is my favorite time of year on that site.  I never agree with the winning apartment, but I get great design inspiration from all the contestants.  Small space living can be elegant and sexy (and extremely functional).  

Entries can be submitted through April 17th.  Winners announced May 2nd.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

ROBERTA FLACK @ The Red Rooster


Just below the hipster spot Red Rooster in Harlem is a sexy little lounge called Ginny's Supper Club.  It was there last night that I witnessed greatness: the legendary Roberta Flack played a concert there! She's more beautiful than ever and her voice is still silk. She kicked things right off with "Killing Me Softly", then did great covers of old and new soul/pop/rock (even a song by The Police!) and closed with an ethereal rendition of "The First Time". Unforgettable night. Beautiful people, seductive venue (w/ celebrity chef/owner Marcus Samuelsson himself greeting and chatting w/ everyone in the room!) and unbeatable price (standing room at the bar - which is a prime location for watching and dancing - only $20!)

Venus in Fur


This play is everything a Broadway show should be: starts off with a bang (literally), moves at a fast pace, has plenty of plot/character twists to keep you guessing,is  so sexy it’ll turn you on (that’s literal, too), is only 90mins long, has no intermission, and it ends in the same explosive style that it starts with.  A must see.  Run, before Tony nominations shoot ticket prices up!

NY Times "The Freedom, and Perils, of Living Alone"


I kind of love this article in the NY Times on what really happens when you live alone.  It hits on all the little things you get used to doing because no one else is there:
-  not closing the door when you use the bathroom
-  talking to yourself or to your pet
-  eating in various states of undress
-  wearing the same clothes over and over
-  doing daytime activities in the middle of the night
-  not eating/preparing “meals”

I would include:
-  dressing and primping (hair/makeup) anywhere but the bathroom – kitchen, living room
-  walking around naked any time of day or night
-  randomly perform loudly to music (again, usually not fully clothed)
-  doing everything in/on your bed (eating, working, talking on the phone, playing instruments, rehearsing monologues...)

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Gig Alert: "The Jessica Project" web series


this is episode #1 of the web series my friend, filmaker Jason Godbey, has cast me in. my character appears in the next season, but you can get a taste of the concept of the series from this pilot. very talented cast and crew!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Tape Art - Max Zorn




entirely made from packing tape! street art, next level.  duct tape finally gets some artistic competition...  :-)
beyond being awed by the artist's creativity, the film noir effect of these sepia tones feels really good.

thank you, Max Zorn!





Vegan for Lent


i'm not Catholic, but it felt right to try a little discipline for this season. so no food made from animals or animal by-products for me for the next 40 days. 1 day down, 39 to go. thank goodness for tasty vegan Indian, Mediterranean and Thai take-out in my 'hood because i cannot subsist on tofu and fake eggs/cheese.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Promo for Cuffin' - The Web Series

The ladies of our web series got together with dating coach, Mr. Locario, for a promo interview at the W Hotel in Times Square. Check it out.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love

one day.

p.s. i argued w/ a cynic yesterday who said he never gave his wife anything for Valentine's Day because it's a phony holiday invented to sell greeting cards.  i told him that if he proposed to his wife with a diamond ring, he'd already fallen for the biggest scam out there (a double scam in that diamonds aren't as valuable as they are marketed to be and that the idea that they represent love is a total marketing/advertising invention) so he shouldn't be indignant about buying a $5 card & a bouquet of roses that will make his wife happy...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

She gave everything.


thank you so much. rest in eternal peace and joy.

another bar bites the dust & my bull

just learned that mason dixon, a bar on the lower east side where i had my one and only bull ride, is closed down.  sad the place is gone. glad to have this video for the memories.
p.s. i kinda miss that haircut...

Saturday, February 11, 2012

J. Dilla - Donuts Are Forever


my knowledge of hip hop is so slight that i only learned about this legendary music producer last year.  a friend took me to the annual Dilla party, Donuts Are Forever, and i danced in ecstasy all night long.  had no idea that one man was responsible for the sounds that i considered to be the glory days of hip hop. great music, great party. so i'll def be at this year's! next sunday at brooklyn bowl

the "Where I've Been" app


i'm diggin this new facebook app! proud of my wanderlust. :)
red = where i've lived
blue = where i've been
green = where i want to go

Acting Technique - Just be

“If there’s an actor on the stage with a cat, who are you going to watch, the actor or the cat? You’re going to watch the cat because the cat’s just being a cat”   
--David Mamet

Friday, February 10, 2012

Thursday, February 9, 2012

"Dinner in NY"


what i really like about Miho Aikawa's photo series, Dinner in NY, is that it shows an honest view of a life i know well in this city. eating in bed, eating on couches over small coffee tables, huddled at small dining tables with friends. lots of eating alone, lots of tv (or laptop use), the zoned out look that happens sometimes when you're alone, the different ways we eat together at work and at home. from the outside in (and maybe a little on the inside), it seems lonely or melancholic at first, but it's not...



Taming of the Shrew (set in the 1930s - cast pic)


...this motley crew of a cast...! good times.  it was a limited run, but i had lots of fun.

Friday, February 3, 2012

R.I.P. Don Cornelius


to this day, go to any black function where there's music and inevitably, at some point, a bunch of folks will create a Soul Train line! and you'd better show your stuff when you dance down the line! (i still get a little nervous that my skills won't be up to par when it's my turn...)
thank you for your living legacy of pride and celebration, Mr. Cornelius.
"Love, Peace and Sooooooooooooooooooooooul!"

Monday, January 23, 2012

Sweet words


A love poem from an old friend.  Pamela Joyce Design, who I've known since we were in 8th grade together back in Berlin, sent me this beautiful piece from her nostalgic Americana collection of painted wood signs. It makes me smile every time I look at it.  I'm hanging it in my bedroom so that every morning, when I wake up, that's the message I see.  Thanks, Pam!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

They call him the new Fela: Blitz the Ambassor (& my dance workout)

spent Friday night dancing around my living room to Blitz the Ambassador's albums. couldn't stop for hours - it was just so good (excellent workout - i'm still sore!).  to me, THIS is the future of hip hop - not Drake, Lil Wayne, et al, but these international voices with something bigger to talk about than consumerism and machismo.  shout out to my friend, Lisa, for introducing me to this music last summer. i can't get enough! check out all his stuff. this particular video, "Best I Can" from his Native Sun album takes me back to my days vagabonding around Ghana and Togo.  those streets, those faces, those markets, my people....  memories.

(it kinda kills me that i lost ALL my east and west Africa pics when my laptop died.  ugh)

Pariah

everyone's talking about Red Tails (which I'll see as soon as I can and def want to support!), but please don't forget the little indie film, Pariah.  An alternative NY story that everyone should see.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The mind of the man

just when i was wondering about understanding the male psyche in the modern, urban dating scene (NYC), i ran across this video.  it's in absolutely vulgar street language, but that doesn't change the truth this guy lays down.  tough love / insight (ghetto-style...)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

What I'm reading: The Art of Fielding


took me a while to finally go get this book, but better late than never.  thought the baseball angle would turn me off, but this story is way bigger than that.  you know a book is good when you'll carry this fat hardback on the NYC subway, standing up during commuter rush hour every day.

Monday, January 16, 2012

One legacy of the Civil Rights Movement is that we can laugh WITH each other, no?

today is the day we celebrate the great accomplishments of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  It's a day about equality and justice and racial understanding.  And, therefore, totally inappropriate for these two videos I'm about to post - but I can't resist.  Franchesca Ramsey is a new You Tube star with her contributions to the "Sh*t ____ (people) say..." video trend.

Here they are!  Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls (parts 1 and 2).




Gig Alert: Taming of the Shrew

"for 'tis the mind that makes the body rich"
- Petruchio in Act IV Scene 3 of Taming of the Shrew

My friend, director Michael Hagins, called me last minute yesterday asking me to help him out by playing a small role in his new production of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.  I said, "What role?"  (Like every other actor, "small role" is not something I want to hear...)  But he said, "The role is Pedant. You'd get to be drunk in 3 scenes and you'd carry a gun".  I said, "I'm in!"
C.A.G.E. Theatre Company
Jan. 25, 27, 28 & 29
More details soon!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Dressing up my Dressform


got an idea for that dress form i found on the street a while back!  thanks to a post on the blog of my old high school friend, Pamela Joyce Designs, my new project will be to turn my dressform....

FROM THIS
  (the way I found it on the street)

TO THIS!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A Dating Coach?

Today, I met a real life "Hitch" (remember that movie with Will Smith?)!  This man is a professional dating/get-girls coach for men.  For real.  He's a hired wingman.  How did I happen meet him?  He auditioned for a role in the web series I'm in, "Cuffin'", a comedy about.... dating!  Crazy.  Not sure I can endorse his methods, but he seemed like a nice enough guy at the audition... Either way, I think it's a cute hustle for a NYC business!   www.mrlocario.com

Monday, January 2, 2012

Champagne on tap


saw this pic on Apartment Therapy today and it made me smile.  if only life could be like this.  Oh, wait - it can!  ....when you live in lap of luxury...

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Starting 2012 the right way!

Why the hell did I sign up to be anywhere at 9:30am on New Year's Day - what was I thinking?!  That's what I said (groaned) when my alarm went off at 7:30 this morning.  But I couldn't back out of this one.  I had committed to delivering meals to working with City Meals on Wheels.  I'd wanted to kick off this year with service.  So I got up and made my way uptown to the Goddard Riverside Community Center (on time, too - another resolution for the new year).  So glad I did!  What a meaningful experience.  Here's why...


TOP 5 REASONS TO VOLUNTEER ON NEW YEAR'S DAY:


5. Exercise! Many of the homebound seniors on my route lived in fifth floor walk ups... Great thigh and butt workout!

4. Starts your year off on a good note after all the gluttony of Christmas and NYE.

3. Community service feels good.

2. Gives a well deserved break to the good people who do this work EVERY DAY. 


1. Because we should ALL do more to help each other.

Year in Review

MY 2011 IN MONTH TO MONTH HIGHLIGHTS:

JANUARY:  the end of the rock star fantasy  
 a last fun moment with him when i still thought we were something...


FEBRUARY:  most humiliating night of my life
i went to his Valentine's Day dinner concert here, only to find out he was dumping me for his ex - who was there, too.  humiliating doesn't even begin to describe how that felt. 

MARCH:  my first birthday party!
first time i've ever thrown my own bday party...a gang of friends, ace hotel, lots of booze, good times...

APRIL:  the dating game
 
                            

for the first time in my life, i actually dated like a normal person; just going out casually on fun dates with NICE guys - rather than intensely crushing on one poor soul for ages, expecting love & marriage then crumbling over the inevitable let-down.  so nice to finally just enjoy the playful side of attraction.  (there were a few more than these pics and, in particular, a certain independent music producer who made a big impression on me...but i can't find more pics!)  another beautiful dating discovery in 2011: THE BLACK MAN!  (not sure how that didn't happen before - blame it on growing up in Europe?...whatever.  good times....

MAY:  becoming a member of the Earth-allujah family
joining this activist group led by Rev. Billy gave a home.  Earth-allujah!  


JUNE:  back to the bard
 

it's not really summer if i'm not costumed up, doing Shakespeare in a park somewhere.
this summer it was A Midsummer Night's Dream.  Photos by Ray Schwartz (all rights reserved).


JULY:  high school reunion - first time in Vegas
 Berlin American High School all-graduating-year reunion.  My first time in Vegas (I guess we couldn't arrange to meet back in Berlin).  I didn't know anyone there, but I still had a blast!


AUGUST:  the bridge is over
i stupidly fell back into believing the fantasy that the rock star was my guy.  we'd made a pact to meet on the brooklyn bridge 6 months after the nastiness (see February).  corny?  sure, but it sounded so romantic...  of course, he no-showed and i felt like a nincompoop - but it finally knocked some sense into me.   Fantasy shattered - reality check!  Live in the present with what you've got, not in the fantasy of what may come.  Photo credit: Frank Winters

SEPTEMBER:  two weddings and a Revolution
 


 

busy, world changing month...

OCTOBER:  the journey within
therapy can be a beautiful thing...  decided to see a male shrink to understand my man-troubles.  ...still working on it...

NOVEMBER:  CUBA!!!
 


 

trip of a lifetime!

DECEMBER:  the good spirit
usually, i feel this way about holiday decorations... but, this year, was different.  i put up garlands, a tree and stuffing stockings with gifts.  really felt good.  i'm growing up.  Photo c/o NBC Chicago
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