Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Positive Thinking - And Follow Up Work

This is kinda freaky - in a good way.  On Friday, I did a little personal affirmation chant that I would book a commercial job this week.  Then I submitted to a couple of casting listings in Back Stage.  Right away, I got invited in for a Tuesday audition.  This afternoon, I got the call that I booked the gig!  ...if it could only be this easy all the time...  ;-)
Magic?  Not quite.  Affirmative thinking, focused marketing and preparation.  Thanks, Coach!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Folly of Meet-the-Agent Events

Actors get so much advice from people in "the industry".  One of the standards is "Go to those meet-the-agent events, they're great for networking!"  These events for which agents and casting directors are paid to attend and for which actors are charged a fee, are big business in NYC.  In L.A., they're illegal, but folks get around that by presenting the events as "workshops".
It always smelled funny to me to pay someone for the honor of being in their presence and the actor testimonials were just never convincing.  There was just too little evidence of real partnerships building from these.  Still, we're encouraged to spend our cash in hopes that the magical moment will happen there for us.
I was considering coughing up another couple hundred bucks for one of these, when I read an article in Back Stage today that knocked the sense back into me.  Basically, Michael Kostroff, writer of the "Working Actor" column, suggests that paying money to meet people only makes you look pathetic.  Right on!  Finally, some common sense!
The best way to network (besides performing your ass off!) is to use connections you already have and/or socialize with the people you want to work with.  No pay to play!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Good to be Scared!

So, in this funk that I'm in, I got in a conversation with an old friend.  (Soooo helpful to have people in my life who have known me since before I got all angsty and confused.)  Mike's been fam since grade school.  and we've stayed constant through continental moves, family crises, colossal failure and modest success.  I love that and I love him for remaining grounded and honest.
Anyway, I was doing my woe-is-me spiel, when he cut me short and asked me why I chose acting.  I gave my usual response about escaping myself, but he pressed me.  Had I just picked something that sounded good, or was I looking for personal growth?  Why?  Then he told me about a seasoned jazz singer who'd told him that she's still unsure everyday what she wants to do or who to be.  She doesn't perform out of love.  She literally performs to scare herself - to push herself passed her own boundary.  In that way, performing becomes an activity that truly serves her.  That got to me.  And the Mike challenged me to try that: Take one project at a time - one day at a time - without commitment to anything more than learning something about yourself; to simply choose to scare myself for the edification, and then decide whether to try again the next day or not.
That's radical thinking for me.  I assumed I had to love this.  It's a whole different ball game to think it's ok, and even good, for it to scare me!  So tomorrow, I'm scaring myself by pushing past anything I've done before - and I won't look any further into the future than that.  Oh, boy.

identity crisis #.... who knows?....

this has been a tough week.  been in a funk.  chalking it up the recent personal rejection combined with some disappointment with my own slacking on the career front.  as an artist, you need to constantly be creating.  the minute you stop the action, you lose the identity, right?  and then what/who are you?

Friday, October 8, 2010

Afro Work

I'm tired of my high-maintenance afro.  I'm transitioning from relaxed to natural hair.  It's so gratifying to be 100% me - no straighteners, no weaves.  And I love the DIY fun of concocting my own moisturizers and conditioners to keep this whole natural theme going.  But I'm not used to "doing" my hair everyday - spritzing, wrapping, co-washing...  Why can't I just wake up and effortlessly look like this...?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

How To Be Alone

Been spending a lot of time home alone lately, so I've hit that point where you start to wonder whether you're just alone or seriously lonely.  The other day I was teetering toward the latter then I saw this video and it made me smile.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Old Time Radio

I have to confess that despite living in a world of 3D tv, interactive motion-sensitive video games, virtual reality and hi-def everything... my favorite entertainment at home, besides dancing around my living room, is listening to radio stories from the 1940s and '50s.  I feel like a senior citizen just saying that.  But these stories performed on low-tech, with one guy making all the movement sounds and a couple of actors performing into a mic with the script in their hands, are just so well-written and well-acted that they stand the test of time.   In fact, they beat our modern, overly stimulating, hyperactive, digital entertainment any day!  So for my afternoon break, I'm about to turn on an episode of "Suspense" from the Relic Radio podcast...  So relaxing.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

On taking risks

Met a cool guy.  He noticed me.  We flirted.  A crush was developing.  I could feel myself slipping down the rabbit hole of fantasy without any confirmation of his intention.  So for the first time ever, I broke out of my shell and asked him flat out if he might be interested in getting to know me.  ....Haven't heard from him since.

It was terrifying to put myself out there like that.  But I'm so glad I did.  I feel stronger and braver.  

What's weird is that I'd prepared for "Yes!" or "No...", but the silence caught me off guard.  Had to remind myself that no answer is also an answer: NO.

The beat goes on...

Epilogue:  he got back to me 2 days later to say he's not available.  *sigh*

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