Saturday, December 27, 2008

Hannukah, oh, Hannukah

It was the first night of Hannukah and her dear, patient friend had invited her to a lovely cocktail affair.  Her first Hannukah party!  Charming guests and a warm atmosphere made her feel so comfortable and accepted.  She worried about her gift of a poinsettia, but for no reason. It was a beautiful night.  She was grateful and joyous.

She did, however, make a note to herself to start finding dates for these types of events...  

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Breaking up is hard to do

She woke up sad this morning thinking about a special man she'd fallen in love with in the spring.  The 3 months of bliss with him were long over, but she'd dreamt of his warm snuggle and missed it terribly.  He'd been on her mind from the previous day when she'd cowardly told a new paramour via email that she was no longer interested.  As she shamefully sent that email, she felt a new, strong respect for that special man who'd done the right thing by having that uncomfortable conversation face to face with her.  And she was even more embarrassed by her horrible reaction to his honorable tact. 

Then she remembered her own words about looking forward, not back, and she got out of bed and started a new day.  A good day.


For the first time ever, she cooked the entire Thanksgiving meal and hosted it.  In her usual style she got off to a late start, but by serving time, at 5pm, she was beaming with pride at how well she'd done.  And the compliments rolled in.  

Dinner Menu
Salad of white asparagus, string beans, sun dried tomatoes, fresh tomatoes, and goat's cheese
Cranberry sauce
Macaroni and cheese
Turkey with bread and artichoke stuffing
Sweet potato pie with Ginger Snap crust

Every morsel homemade!

Her heart was full.  What else could she do that had terrified her?


I was truly embarrassed by that last post.  So pathetic to look back and ask, "What if?".  One of the many lessons learned on November 4th at 10pm was: HOPE.  That, by definition, demands focus on the future, not the past.
But, Maya, my...ahem... epilation clinician said it best the day after i wrote that last post, "Nobody is going to give you anything. Go out and make your own life happen."  Some people see Psychotherapists.  Some confide in their hairstylists.  My consigliere is my waxing lady.

A new change for this blog:  While I like the diary format, I'd like to experiment with third person speaking for a while.
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